Reflections - 5

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Today I stand at the intersection of two deeply personal milestones: the release of my memoir and my 39th birthday.

To be honest, I wasn’t sure I’d reach this moment — at least not with a clear mind and a steady heart. The past three years took me through something I wouldn’t wish on anyone. Life unraveled in ways I never saw coming. But somewhere in that unraveling, I found a thread of purpose that pulled me through.

I’d heard others speak of starting over — of being forced to rebuild and reimagine their lives from the ground up. And I always listened. But I never thought I’d live it. I never imagined life would corner me into stillness and demand that I unlearn, reflect, and ultimately let go of the person I thought I had to be in order to survive.

That’s what this memoir is really about.

The Blessing of Transition: Finding Strength in Change was never about storytelling for the sake of attention. It was about release. I needed to shed the weight of silence — to give language to things I had buried — so I could make space for the version of myself I had long ignored. Writing this memoir wasn’t an act of indulgence. It was an act of freedom.

And here’s what I’ve learned: if you don’t get it out, it will stay in. And what stays in, eventually turns on you. Mentally. Emotionally. Spiritually.

That truth is also what birthed my nonprofit, The JVB Cares Foundation— something I had dreamed about for years but never made space for. I was too busy. Too scheduled. Too distracted. But when everything fell apart, the calling grew louder: to create a space that supports mental health in underserved communities. Because if I, with all my access and visibility, could feel as lost and unseen as I did… imagine how many others feel the same way, with no outlet at all.

If you’re reading this, and you’re in a season of change, please know this: it’s okay to pause. It’s okay to ask for help. And it’s more than okay to let go of what no longer serves you.

Another thing I’ve learned? People will talk. About you. About your silence. About your healing. About your joy. They’ll speak on things without clarity — without ever knowing the full story. But here’s what I know to be true: keep your head down, let it roll off you, and keep moving forward.

Because it’s only in those moments of forward motion that you find true purpose.

Let them unfollow you. Let them remove themselves. Let them reveal their true colors. Because anyone who listens to a version of you they never bothered to confirm directly is doing you a favor — they’re telling you who they really are. And that kind of clarity is a gift, not a loss.

Never judge a book by its cover — or a person by a chapter you walked in on too late.

Today, I celebrate not just my birthday, but a spiritual rebirth. I’ve never felt clearer, more grounded, or more aligned with my purpose. I’m not chasing anything. I’m simply becoming. And I’m grateful for every step that brought me here.

And if I may offer one last reflection:

At the end of the day, what I’ve come to realize is this — most people don’t truly care when you’re at your lowest. Everything looks golden when you’re sitting on top of the world, giving others access to a life they’ve only imagined. But when your world crumbles, some will use your vulnerability to advance their own. It’s harsh, but it’s real.

So protect your peace. Keep your problems sacred.

And use the same energy you’d spend explaining your pain to someone who won’t hold it… to instead fuel your growth. Use it to redirect, to restructure, and to reclaim your purpose.

Because when life shakes you, it’s also asking you to take inventory — to pause and ask the universe, why did this happen? Not from a place of defeat, but from a place of alignment.

And then… move forward.

Thank you for reading this birthday edition of #ReflectionsByJVB.

Thank you for supporting the memoir.

…And thank you for holding space for someone still healing, still learning, still growing — but finally, free.

Until Next Time,

Be Kind To Yourself. Be Patient With Yourself.

— JVB